It's a Fair Cop, Guv!

And no, this has nothing to do with blonde policewomen.... at least I don't think it does, but I was banged to rights as they say, just the same.

I was proceeding in a leisurely manner, m'lud, when I entered a local village and noticed a van, in which a man operating a camera was looking in my general direction. I was just inside the 30 MPH area and when I looked at my speedo I was doing 35 MPH. Admittedly I was slowing as I entered the village, but that wasn't the point as I realised a week later when the dreaded letter dropped through my letterbox.

So I had 3 options. I could either accept a fine and 3 points, plus a hike in my insurance premium, or challenge the whole thing and go to court where the fine would be £200 plus 3 points if I failed, or go on the Driver Awareness Course at a cost of £90 and no points on my license. Guess what I opted for!

Actually it's not that automatic. You have to apply and there's a chance the police may refuse you, though they would rather you took the course in reality.

So, what was it like? Brilliant!

The 2 guys who ran the course treated the 20 people on it as responsible adults, rather than as naughty kids to be humiliated, and they understood what they were talking about. These are some of the elements that came out during the 4 hours we were there:-

- No one makes a profit out of the course. In Hampshire, once all hotel and lecturer costs are covered, any remaining money is donated to the Hampshire Flying Doctor helicopter service which is totally supported by charity rather than the NHS
- A car travelling at 32 MPH as opposed to 30 MPH will still be doing 10 MPH if both cars are braked together and the 30 MPH car has stopped. At 70 MPH that goes up to 50 MPH.
- At 20 MPH 85% 0f people will survive with minor injuries. At 30 MPH 
- In an exercise, Hampshire police spot checked drivers for eyesight problems. Just over 25% failed badly. Amazingly this wasn't the older generation, but rather people in their late 20's who didn't want to admit they needed glasses and look nerdy!.
- Almost 80% of road accidents happen at road junctions and an amazing number involve cycles and motor bikes.
- A fixed speed camera can only be located where there have been 3 deaths, or major accidents in recent years.
- Mobile speed cameras of any kind can only be used where there has been a death or serious injury in the previous 3 years.
- Amazingly the outside lane of a motorway is NOT just for BMW drivers with a heavy right foot and a mobile, nor is it for lorries, caravans, or any cars towing something. Nor is it for use when the inside lane is available.
- There are very strict and defined rules as to whether a specific speed limit should be imposed. There has to have been an major accident with the last 3 years and the area must have street lights a certain distance apart before a 30 MPH limit can be imposed retrospectively. Some Hampshire villages still have a 60 MPH speed limit (the limit on a single lanes 2-way country road) going through them, purely because there hasn't yet been a major accident.
- Most people have no idea what ABS really does, how to use it properly, or even what it stands for, although they have it on their cars. Do you know?
- According to the Highway Code the average driver reacts to an incident in 0.7 seconds. In fact in road tests it's around 2 seconds.... and a lot can happen in 2 seconds even at 30 MPH!
- The year with the highest road deaths in the Great Britain was 1939! Since then it has steadily declined with a marked drop in the past 10 years, even though the number of cars on the road has increased incredibly.
- Since the Driver Awareness Course option was brought in the number of major road accidents has fallen considerably, likewise deaths.

Not one person on the course grumbled about the cost. No one moaned at the fact we'd been prosecuted in the first place and "why aren't the police out there chasing real villains instead of persecuting us poor motorists" (if we didn't speed, they would be chasing villains is one answer). The fact we all lost at least half a day's wages didn't occur to us; it's the price you pay for awareness.

We all thanked the two guys for an excellent course and promised never to see them again!

Blog on, Dudes!

The process of buying a book.... mine at least!

Just a reminder that Leap of Faith is available on Amazon as an eBook for the special price of 99p.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Leap-Faith-Richard-Hardie-ebook/dp/B00GQHXSHS/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1&qid=1436353425

So you've written a book and by some fluke (otherwise known as hard work) it's been taken on by an agent and / or a publisher. It's about to hit the bookshop shelves, Amazon depots, libraries, electronic devices, schools and eventually charity shops...... where unless someone parts with hard-earned cash the book will sit earning nothing for everyone. 

So let's look at the act of buying.

People don't go to Amazon to browse for books, do you? You go there to buy a specific volume, whether Kindle, or paperback and buy it, because it's usually cheaper than anywhere else and you're prepared to put up with the inconvenience of a 3 to 5 day wait for the convenience of not having to go into town.

From my point of view as an author of Young Adult adventure books, the downside is that the only people who buy books on Amazon are those with Kindle devices, and those who also have debit, or credit cards. No matter how hard you stuff notes into the DVD tray Amazon will never accept the purchase! Certainly lots of YA's have Kindles, but very few have Amazon accounts, or credit cards, so they either have to depend on their parents to buy for them, or they go to their local bookshop..... and browse!

Amazon may have several million books on its database, but a shop displays an excellent selection of tempting books for most age groups and genre tastes, and also has staff that are usually keen to help and advise. 

Where else but in a bookshop can you meet an author, chat and get them to sign one of their books. As an author I love the thrill of meeting existing and new readers of my books and hopefully gaining a fan for years to come. The bookshop owner loves signing days because it attracts potential buyers into the shop who may just buy other books as well. It's a scenario where everybody wins!

So the buying process in short:-
 - If you know the exact book you want and have a credit card, or willing parent, Amazon is probably the cheap option.
 - If you want to add to your reading selection within a genre, go to your local independent bookshop and browse.
 - If I'm in the bookshop grab me and ask me to sign my books. I promise I won't protest!
 - Either way, when Royal Mail brings your Amazon parcel, or you get home from town clutching one of my books.... Read them and enjoy every word!

Blog on, Dudes!

The process of marketing a book... mine at least!

Before you start reading, bear a thought for the poor, struggling author that wrote this.... me!
Leap of Faith is available this week only at 99p as an eBook from Amazon at http://www.amazon.co.uk/Leap-Faith-Richard-Hardie-ebook/dp/B00GQHXSHS/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1&qid=1436268407

Okay!

So, once you've finished your book and it's with the publisher, that's your job as the author over and done with. So on to the next book!

Not a bit of it!

You may have written the world's greatest masterpiece, but if people don't know about it, unfortunately sales will reflect that. Someone has to go out to the big wide world of potential readers / buyers and tell them time and time again that your new bestseller is available and ready for them to enjoy on their book shelves or Kindle device.

Who do you shout at and what do you shout?
 - Social metworking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. Many authors have multiple FB pages (personal, author and sometimes one for each book). I have three FB pages one of wich is hosted by one of the characters from my Temporal Detective Agency series. I also use Linkedin, which is primarily a business network, however like most authors, I used to be in business and still maintain my links. It also has useful groups I've joined.
 - Target your audience. My readers are primarily Young Adults, so advertising in The Oldie magazine is probably not the best use of my marketing time! Equally, think like your audience. 
- Don't shout "buy my books" at the same people day in, day out. That's a great way NOT to sell books. By variable, be interesting.
 - A blog is an excellent tool. Again, be interesting. Interviews are good, but don't keep interviewing the same people everyone else is interviewing, i.e. friends who are also authors. I started approaching well-known people (actors, broadcasters and authors) and found them very helpful and more than happy to spend time online with me. You need to create your audience though. Word of mouth / internet is a prime way and is really a recommendation to a new follower, but linking the blog to your website, if you have one, is key. Make sure also that each blog post is also linked to Facebook pages and Twitter..... and ask people to share!
- Your website is the window into your life by which the world can see who you are and what you're doing. It can be your key tool and should be aimed at you target age group and genre. Mine at www.rhardie.com is geared to the Young Adults among us and has lots of little surprises! Above all keep it relevant and up to date with lots of links to Amazon, your publisher and any other site your prospective reader might be interested in.
 - Goodreads and Authorsden.com and the two largest book review sites. Of the two I prefer Authorsden, even though it's mainly American. It's author biography and book pages are professional and easy to create and the statistics it provides on the number of views and strike throughs to sites such as Amazon give you a great idea on traffic and potential sales. It also shows a top 10 list of books by views for each genre. I have to mention that, because my second book in the Temporal Detective Agency series (Trouble With Swords) is #3 in the Young Adults chart!
- Local press and radio and usually happy to help local authors. They're only a phone call away, but have something interesting to say, such as a new book release, or a local book signing.
- I love doing book signings in independent bookshops. They're fun and if promoted well and organised correctly can be great fun, as well as rewarding. Bookshops are also only a phone call away and are usually happy to talk.

- Don't ignore libraries, both local council and those in schools if your market is YA. I work with the Schools Library Service for each county to stock school libraries and organise school talks. J K Rawling's Harry Potter books really only took off through "playground marketing", in other words kids telling their friends about these great new books they've just read. 
- There are different distributors for independent bookshops, chain bookshops, ocean cruise liners, schools and county libraries. They're specialists in their repective markets and not to be ignored.

The main thing is to fun and to enjoy what you're doing. If you do, then it's highly likely your readers will enjoy your books that much more. And that is the name of the game!

Blog on, Dudes!

The process of writing a book..... mine at least!

Writing a book is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiartion.... or roughly in that proportion. I forget who said it (probably Mark Twain!) but he was definitely a perspiring author!

In my case I sweated Leap of Faith, the first in the Temporal Detective Agency series, for around 8 years before it became properly published by Crooked Cat in both eBook and paperback format. However at some point in that period there came the magic 10% when I was (ahem) inspired!

For 15 years I was a Scout Leader and for 10 of those I wrote and produced the Scout and Guide Association Gang Shows. Ralph Reader started them some decades ago and they were tremendously popular in the 1960's with several million tuning into BBC to watch them once a year on Saturday night and an annual 2 week run at the London Palladium. Mt Gang Shows may have been on a slightly smaller scale, bu they were great fun and we had 80 kids on stage and the same number of people doing backstage, front of house, lighting and sound, security and car parking. A producer's lot is not an easy one! 

The second show was called Timescape and it always struck me that it had the kernel of a book hidden in it somewhere. I was lucky enough to have convinced Terry Pratchet to co-write one scene with me and even to act in it on video so we could show it every night. I broached the idea of turning the show (or part of it) into a book, and he rightly told me to keep the day job. However I did ask him if I could use his name and character in the book, or any sequel and he laughed before agreeing. He probably never expected a book to see the light of day, but to his surprise he apears in the second book in the series. He has a signed copy which nis agent read to him (he was blind towards the end of his life). It's the only book Terry Pratchett ever appeared in!

The first draft was nearly 500 pages long and my agent sent it back. She told me to put the letters GOWTS on my keyboard. They stand for Get On With The Story and it was the best advise I ever had. I cut Leap of Faith down to around 250 pages and I have to admit that the book now races along as an adventure, without losing anything in the reduced version! I used the same criteria in the rest of series and will continue to do so for as long as the Temporal Detective Agency is having fun.

So, back to the process:-
- Get an idea (inspiation)
- Look at it from all sides and examine it in detail. Scrap the idea if necessary!
- Storyboard it. Hopefully see the beginning, the middle and the end. I've even started a book by writing the last 3 chapters. They were good too!
- Write the first page and make it a humdinger!
- Complete the book, then look at each character and ask yourself if they really "live" in 3D. Do you believe in them, because if you don't, no one else can.
- Take out all adverbs and adjectives except those that are absolutely necessary. Be strict and remember that your reader has an imagination and will put in their own adverbs and adjectives.... probably better than yours!
- Don't get friends and family to read the book. They'll tell you it's magnificent.... or too awful for words. Either way, they'll be wrong!
- Get an agent if possible. The hardest part of the whole process, but often necessary as most publishers won't talk to authors, only agents who they presume have filtered out the dross and are presenting the cream. Sometimes the cream sinks to the bottom!

So you've got a book, it's published and you have a paperback copy actually in your hands. Er.... where's adoring queue of fan wanting you to sign copies? Now comes the really hard task.... marketing!

But that's another topic for later this week!

Remember for the next week Leap of Faith is available from Amazon as an eBook for 99p or $1.56. So go to...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Leap-Faith-Richard-Hardie-ebook/dp/B00GQHXSHS/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1&qid=1435930022
or
http://www.amazon.com/Leap-Faith-Richard-Hardie-ebook/dp/B00GQHXSHS/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1&qid=1435930022

Blog on, Dudes!

Anger Is An Energy

It's not that I can't be bothered to blog, or that nothing interesting has happened this week. After all, Sep Blatter is facing an interesting future and (shock horror) FIFA may be a corrupt organisation, especially in Africa as well as South and Central America. Who'd have guessed it!

No. I've been building a shed that arrived flat-packed last Saturday, which included instructions that could have been from the Japanese offshoot of IKEA on a bad day. I had to phone the technical department so many times that we became quite good friends and are now on first name terms. Unfortunately the roof doesn't fit, so they're shipping new roof beams. which will arrive while I'm away on holiday along with replacement roof felt (which was ripped) and window batons (which split when screwed to the frame). Looks like a bust time when I get back, especially as we're having all the downstairs carpets replaced, so I have to move all the furniture and take all the old carpetd down to the refuse tip.

In addition, I've been reading a book.

I usually write them, or if I'm reading it'll be one of Terry Pratchett's, or Bernard Cornwell. However this is a book my daughter bought me for my birthday. It's John Lydon's biography called "Anger Is An Energy" and most people will know him as Johnny Rotten of the foul-mouthed and anarchistic Sex Pistols.

I was dubious, but he comes over as being an highly intelligent, well-read and extremely interesting man. He could read and write at the age of 4 and then caught meningitis, which wiped his memory for several months and he had to relearn his academic talents from scratch. His upbringing wasn't easy, or normal and yet he read Dostoyefsky and loved Rakmaninov. While other members of the Sex Pistols died, or faded into obscurity, John has carved a career in America, has a supportive family, is married to his long-term girlfriend, fronts his own group PIL, and has done for many years, has been on "I'm A Celebrity. Get Me Out Of Here", and has been offered a rejected MBE. A really fascinating guy and a book I'd recommend.

I'll be taking it on holiday to finish it and I'm also taking Terry Pratchett's Raising Steam. There are also a couple of eBooks I'm hoping to read on my iPad, though I must admit I don't like Kindle versions. I'd much rather read the words on aprinted page!

Blog on, Dudes!

Kids Today!!!!

When I was young, we never behaved like kids do today!

Actually I think we did, or we'd have liked to, except the knowledge that parents, policemen and shop keepers would give us a clip around the ear stopped us going too far. The thought of being able to shout "I know my rights!" and threatening a court case for child abuse was unheard of. Kids didn't take away those barrier ropes; a well-meaning nanny state did, backed up by an autocratic EEC based in Brussels.

Another common complaint is that kids have it far too easy today. Exams have been dumbed down just so grades can look good. As a result there's no pressure on kids to achieve.

Bollocks!

For the past 2 weeks, and until the end of June, I've been an exam invigilator at a very successful 6th form college in Winchester. I've been setting up, invigilating and then collating results for 2 exams a day in a variety of subjects. Around 1,500 kids are taking their final A'levels while about the same number are taking their Lower 6 1st year exams. The work put in by around 200 invigilators is tremendous, but the work the kids have put in over the past 2 years is phenomenal.

It's no wonder we've already had 3 panic attacks, all of which were dealt with calmly so that the students were able to continue their exams in a side room after a rest period.

Impressively, the college recognises very early in a student's 6th form career if they have colour blindness, dyslexia, or some other non-obvious problem. These students are given extra time if they want it, specially coloured exam and answer papers, readers and / scribes if necessary, and every opportunity for their intellect to shine. 

I looked throught the exam papers at each session I took and even those subjects I thought I was well versed in were certainly not easier than when I took A'levels. Kids may be given every technological aid but the competition is very high and the standard no lower than it used to be.

Successive governments have inadvertantly piled pressure onto the kids by making degrees so widely available and therefore almost obligatory. Now every kid is expected to get great grades and go to some university, or degree establishment as a matter of course. However many leave after the first year of a degree course, realising that they're incurring a debt, are doing a degree that will have little relevance to them in reality, or that they're just not cut out for university life. Wasted pressure, poor kids!

Having said that, I've yet to see any student treat an exam I've invigilated as a joke, and I hope the 3 who had panic attacks get the grades they obviously worked so hard for, It's a privelege working with them.

Blog on, Dudes!

Election

Leaflets having been drooping through my letter box for a month or so now and that can only mean that after 5 years we're having another General Election to vote another load of politicians into power.

At least we don't have to put up with the American system of party political broadcasts for a whole year. Strangely though, in the States they only have the two parties anyway, whereas we now have a whole rainbow of choices.... some of whom make the Monster Raving Loony Party look sensible. In our case, it just seems like a year.

Politics was always a fairly gentlemanly process and general elections with your choice of Dimblebys was of interest only on the night when Billeracy declared the first result. What ever happened to them? It's now somewhere up North.... or at least above the M4. People didn't swear at each other. Certainly there were unsavoury secrets, but the media kept those quiet, because MP's were like bankers, lawyers and estate agents.... pillars of society! Then came expenses and the reputation ofg MP's joined that of .... er bankers, lawyers and estate agents!

I'm not a Labour, Lib Dem, Tory, Wesh Nationalist, SNP, UKIP or SNP supporter. I'm a blogger who watches, and the modern habit of pouring out vitriol against a party the vitioler doesn't support is amazing. I have to say that Labour supporters seem to do it most against the Tories and some even voice the opinion that if you don't agree with them you must be against them. I was even accused on Facebook of being a Nazi by one person because I mildly disagreed with one of his comments that used several well known Anglo-Saxon expletives. Ironically that's the sort of action the Nazis would have approved of. Stalinist Russia would have put me in a gulag. Over here I get defriended on Facebook. Oh well!

Great Britain has an income, just like a household, and has to keep to that budget or go into debt. Once in debt the household has to cut its cloth to get back into balance, not spend even more to make itself feel better. I, for one, know that only too well, and saying it doesn't mean I'm a Tory.... and certainly not a Nazi! I'm just a householder who will probably vote another load of unaccountable politicians into power on Thursday, who will promptly forget me and the rest of the population by Friday.

At least I won't get any more leaflets through the door for 5 years.... unless of course the result is so inconclusive that they need another election!

Heaven forbid!

Blog on, Dudes!